[ Read Online Mating in Captivity: Reconciling the Erotic and the Domestic À lebanon PDF ] by Esther Perel ô expertcentr.pro
[ Read Online Mating in Captivity: Reconciling the Erotic and the Domestic À lebanon PDF ] by Esther Perel ô When your entire book is based on the premise that intimacy kills desire, you ve lost me The idea that the closer you get to someone, the comfortable with them, the safer you feel, the less attracted to them you are just seems ludicrous and if that s true I feel like maybe you ve got some solo therapy to do The idea that you should talk share less, flirt with other men to create safe jealousy, and perhaps open your marriage up to other partners or dating other people. it just hardly seems like a solution Mentioned early on, the biological premise for this theory is that people used to have shorter life spans so staying with the same person wasn t as hard This is the same theory I hear from 20 somethings who don t want to settle down yet. Not particularly valuable advice for anyone who wants to build a healt I wanted this to be the answer to the last couple of fights I ve had with my partner The subtitle is Reconciling the Erotic and the Domestic , and so I d hoped that this would help me understand why it is we fight with the one we love most, and how to prevent real problems before they happen This is, after all, what the book promises to do. But, unfortunately, it really falls short Because while the author gives numerous anecdotal accounts of how this couple or that was able to reignite the flame of passion in their relationship, she fails to lay out any sort of plan for the reader to follow For instance, she offers up the tale of how attending a yearly swingers weekend in Vegas has permitted one couple to cheat on each other within a specific context and parameters, which for them puts an end to their desires to cheat in real life the One Of The World S Most Respected Voices On Erotic Intelligence, Esther Perel Offers A Bold, Provocative New Take On Intimacy And Sex Mating In Captivity Invites Us To Explore The Paradoxical Union Of Domesticity And Sexual Desire, And Explains What It Takes To Bring Lust Home Drawing On Than Twenty Years Of Experience As A Couples Therapist, Perel Examines The Complexities Of Sustaining Desire Through Case Studies And Lively Discussion, Perel Demonstrates How Exciting, Playful, And Even Poetic Sex Is Possible In Long Term Relationships Wise, Witty, And As Revelatory As It Is Straightforward, Mating In Captivity Is A Sensational Book That Will Transform The Way You Live And Love Reading this book I soon found myself questioning every aspect of my marriage Apparently, I should be keeping my wife at a distance or we ll get bored with each other Maybe I rely too much on verbal communication to express my feelings Sure, things are great now, but am I setting the stage for an unhappy 2nd act Would my wife be happier married to someone who doesn t speak English I quit I don t need a book to make me second guess and doubt the happiest aspect of my life. This book aptly inspects the question Why passion, desire, eroticism and sexuality follow a downward spiral after marriage Many elements contributing to this issue are examined with real case studies and often with practical suggestions There are a lot of eye opening and counter intuitive insights in the book that if practiced, will reignite the engine of passion in a married life I highly recommend this book to everyone, not just couples. Joni is quite forthcoming in disclosing her sexual past But when I ask her, What does sex mean to you What are the feelings that accompany your desire What do you seek in sex What do you want to feel To express Where do you hold back she looks at me, perplexed I have no idea, she admits No one s ever asked me that before No one s ever asked me that before. Sex is simple two people occasionally , in the same time, in the same place, with the same idea that s all it is, all it takes Look at things at a slightly different angle, and things get complicated fast. Paradox underlies every meaningful human experience As Perel writes beautifullyWe find the same polarities in every system stability and change, passion and reason, personal interest and collective well being, action and reflection to name but a few These tensions exist This book is so much erotically charged than the 50 Shades fictional nonsense Perel offers great insight into human desire for love, sex, connection, space and how we tend to thwart the very intimacy we crave by applying judgement to our desires I haven t read a better reason to be hopeful that long term relationships can maintain, even increase, passion and desire than this The counterargument to the law of diminishing returns is the principle that consistent investment leads to increased satisfaction The you do something, and the better you get at it, the you re going to enjoy it The weekly tennis player who continues to improve his game would argue for the positive effects of frequency For her, Paris just keeps getting better I saw Esther Perel on The Colbert Report and as always, Colbert made the conversation interesting I m not one for self help books or couple advice, but I was intrigued after that interview I should have just stayed away. The basis of this book appears to be familiarity breeds contempt Emotional distance, according to the author, equals a better sex life and therefore better marriage I found this wholly contradictory and I could not get on board with her therapy message Honestly Perel comes across as a poor therapist and the couples detailed do not, in all practicality, seem to belong together I absolutely did not relate to the author or the couples and their problems The overall lack of statistics and anything resembling facts or studies turned me off further No, references to o
Reconciling Cliche and Popular SociologyOn a crowded bus last week, my eight year old son couldn t help but inquire about the title of Esther Perel s debut book, Mating in Captivity Reconciling the Erotic and the Domestic What s mating mean, dad And cap tiv i ty With numerous ears besides his own eager to hear my reply, I resorted to cheap humor that passed by him as surely as hot sex passes by Perel s patients throughout this book Mating I told him, is finding someone to love and captivity is what happens after that Perel s central premise is succinctly stated early on and aptly summarized in a piece of her own counsel I point out to Adele that if we are to maintain desire with one person over time we must be able to bring a sense of unknown into a familiar space Adele, it seems, has been suffering from contemporary angst and now stands in as proxy to the larger condit The author is a European, kink and alternative lifestyle friendly relationship therapist It was quite refreshing to have her non judgmental viewpoint on most issues of sexuality She maintains throughout the book that in order to develop intimacy between two people, there needs to be some separateness Which is a problem in this American society where our mate is supposed to be everything to us There s a struggle in finding another person erotic and sexy when there s too much comfort and security. She supports her claims by providing case studies of her clients, whose information has been made anonymous She ll outline their problems, help them examine them in depth and then try to guide them toward a solution without making a moral issue of their behaviors, actions or desires. She has some great ideas all around, espe
Mating in Captivity Unlocking Erotic Intelligence, translated into 25 languages Fluent in nine of them, the Belgian native is a practicing psychotherapist, celebrated speaker and organizational consultant to Fortune 500 companies The New York Times, in a cover story, named her the most important game changer on sexuality and relationships since Dr Ruth Her critically acclaimed viral TED talk reached nearly 5 million viewers in the first year.Known for her keen cross cultural pulse, Esther shifts the paradigm of our approach to modern relationships She is regularly sought around the world for her expertise in erotic intelligence, couples and family identity as well as corporate relationships and team collaboration.Her clients and platforms include companies such as Nike, Johnson Johnson and Mopar, the Open Society Institute, Tony Robbins Productions, Summit Series, Founder s Forum, PopTech, Young Presidents Organization, Entrepreneur Organization, and the Bronfman Foundation.Her innovative models for building strong and lasting relationships have been widely featured in the media across 5 continents spanning The New York Times, the Washington Post, The Wall Street Journal, Le Monde, Ha Aretz and The Guardian, The New Yorker, Fast Company, and Vogue She is a frequent guest on radio and television shows including NPR s Brian Lehrer Show, Oprah and The Today Show, Dr Oz and The Colbert Report .In addition to Esther s 30 year therapy practice in New York City, she also serves on the faculty of The Family Studies Unit, Department of Psychiatry, New York University Medical Center and The International Trauma Studies Program at Columbia University.